Just saw two queens get in a knife fight from my own 3rd floor patio. God I love this city!!!
- December, 2009
4/2/10
3/31/10
Starbucks Vagrant
Sitting outside Starbucks, enjoying the nice weather, when an obvious vagrant walks past me and starts yelling. Looking up from my book, I realize that I am the lucky recipient of his Hourly Pyschotic Break as he looks me in the eye and screams, "Stupid Bi**! I'm gonna choke you!"
Having encountered similar craziness in the past, I nod and slowly state "OK" and resume reading.
Having encountered similar craziness in the past, I nod and slowly state "OK" and resume reading.
3/30/10
Flashbacks
I am getting sushi with friends and a man walks in and sits next to me who startlingly looks like a science experiment where the DNA of John Lithgow and an orangutan where smashed together to determine how the resulting semi-human creation would conduct itself.
As usual with crazies, he falls in love with me and says "I'll take you to East Atlanta. I'll show you the world."
As usual with crazies, he falls in love with me and says "I'll take you to East Atlanta. I'll show you the world."
3/27/10
MARTA Musing
Got on the train and immediately began to search for the culprit that had the car smelling like a litter box; quickly identified the offending party and ran in the opposite direction, post haste.
Left the train on the verge of a fatal lung explosion only to have my theory proven that eye contact on Marta is interpreted as a marriage proposal. Another dreadfully close case of Marta-style molestation.
- August, 2009
Left the train on the verge of a fatal lung explosion only to have my theory proven that eye contact on Marta is interpreted as a marriage proposal. Another dreadfully close case of Marta-style molestation.
- August, 2009
3/23/10
MARTA Musing
We all know when our deodorant is no longer working. Lady I have ridden on the train with you twice now and both times you somehow managed to smell like a wildebeest. That is entirely unacceptable!
- October, 2009
- October, 2009
3/22/10
Monday Musings
I really despise men crying when they lose games. One of the last bastions of masculinity and it is become endearing to see grown men blubbering on the sidelines. Do what men have been doing for hundreds of years. Shake hands, get drunk and then sob like a baby when you talk to your mom.
***
I decided to go to Goodwill. After 20 minutes I already had to ask one man to stop breathing ON my neck, my head was throbbing, and at the check-out line was tempted to ask the man in front of me if that was how he normally smelled or if he was just having a bad week. Settled for a "Phew, Damn!..." and covered my face with my shirt. Not worth the discounted books.
***
Barking......all I hear is barking..........slowly going insane.
***
I decided to go to Goodwill. After 20 minutes I already had to ask one man to stop breathing ON my neck, my head was throbbing, and at the check-out line was tempted to ask the man in front of me if that was how he normally smelled or if he was just having a bad week. Settled for a "Phew, Damn!..." and covered my face with my shirt. Not worth the discounted books.
***
Barking......all I hear is barking..........slowly going insane.
3/20/10
Burrito Manifesto
At Moe's (the burrito place): Watched a lady get an order of chicken and queso then scream until she got free chips. She then proceeded to waddle to the salsa bar and get 12 ramekins of salsa. First of all, you are tacky and tasteless. Second, PEOPLE, it's salsa, not Gazpacho, there is no justifiable way for you to take more than two ramekins and move the hell on.
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